The jokes
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
Memes
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.