The jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
Memes
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?
Tell him the truth.
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.