The jokes
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.