The jokes

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?

People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

What did the evil chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.

Why was 10 scared?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

Q: What's the best way to carve wood?

A: Whittle by whittle.

Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.

The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!

Yo mama so fat when she went to the movie theater, she sits next to everyone.

What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.

Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."