The jokes

Kids in the backseat make accidents, but accidents in the backseat make kids.

Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.

Son: Dad, what's dark humor?

Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?

Son: No, I'm blind.

I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.

Neil before me.

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look pretty flushed.

Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

Why are cigarettes good for the environment?

They kill people.

What is money called on the moon?

Mooney.

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.

Bully: (Speechless)

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The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

How do orphans see their family?

By looking at the mirror.

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.