The jokes
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
The Twin Towers are like my dad, they are never coming back.
Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?
Because his keys were inside of the ignition.
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
Why did he quit the internet?
People kept on (rick) rolling him.
What's the worst TV series for orphans?
Family Guy.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.