The jokes
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
Memes
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
Why do orphans only eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Roses are red, violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there with you, But not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
All of the people disliking this category are probably emo.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.