The jokes

911

A collection of 911 jokes.

What kinda pizza did they order at 911?

Plane.

What was the color of 911?

Plane.

What is the fastest way to see 911?

Plane.

Crab

you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.

Orphan

What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples got picked.

Argument

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

Difference

What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?

You can't run over a yellow line.

Basement

What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.

Roblox

add me in Roblox wholetthedogsoutyou1 lol who let the dogs out you you you you you?

Down Syndrome

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

Frog

What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

He was toad away.

Get it?

Plank

When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.

Orphan

Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.

Life

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

Milky Way

Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!

Sex

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

Teacher

"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"

"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!