The jokes
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
Memes
Yo mama so tall, she was next to Neil Armstrong on the moon.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.