The jokes
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Memes
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.