The jokes
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.