The jokes

A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.

Who read the most words?

911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Wanna hear a funny joke? Well, that was why you were here... Here's the joke: Your life :)

What do sheep wear to the beach?

A baa-kini.

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.

These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."

Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

Sans: Zzzzzzzz

Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it dude?

Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Papyus: Grrrrr....

Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.

Sans: Zzzzzzzz.

Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it, dude?

Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).

What did one fish say to the other?

Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.