The jokes
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
Memes
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?
The boomerang comes back.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!