The jokes
Why did the depressed kid cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
Why did the bee buzz off?
Because he had to bee somewhere.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.