The jokes
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Memes
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
A termite walks into a bar and says, "So, is the bartender here?"
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.