The jokes
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
The homepage.
Memes
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.