The jokes

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.

Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.

Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.

They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?

A: The Blackhole.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

Here's a sex joke.

What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.