The jokes

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.

I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.

When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.

Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴

These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.

Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?

An Indian person is burnt after death.

What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.

Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.