The jokes
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?
Because he's dead.
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
Memes
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
When I was born the doctors said, "it's a boy!" Then when they went to cut the umbilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said, "Oh, it's a girl."
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"