The jokes

Poverty

We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.

I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.

Wheelchair

Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.

Astronaut

Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?

Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣

Memes

Penis

My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.

Mum

Friend, your mum's fat.

Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.

Game

Hi 👋 I have some good ideas 💡. It was the best game I had to get in my...

Helen Keller

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.

Number

You take four, then you put a "n" at the end, then you take the "u" out, then you replace the "f" with a "p". What do you get?

Glock

ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

Wind

A group of friends went outside to pick up stuff. One of the friends said, "It is windy as heck out!"

Death

How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.

Orange

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?

Please take this down, it's not funny at all!

It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!