The jokes

What’s the difference between a living and dead person?

I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.

What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.

Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.

A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.

The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"

Mom: Go water the plants.

Me: But it’s raining outside.

Mom: Go grab the umbrella.

Me: What???

So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."

Why did the man say "hi" to say "bye?"

I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”

I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!

What did the chicken say when he crossed the road?

Quack!

Bruh bruh the bruh run bruh stop bruh hi bruh.

Why did the butthole get angry?

So it could wipe every human, snipe.

Friend: Eric, spell mouse.

Eric: M O U S.

Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?

Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?

A: You're the chairman of the board!

We have invented the spade! This is groundbreaking!

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.

What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?

Ben after he trips over the giant curb!

Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.

Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?

Because he kneaded the dough!