The jokes

"Prince, do you love the faker, Princess, or me, the real Gwen?"

She really sucks, and the guy who is with her sucks too.

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

Who are the fastest readers of mankind?

The victims of 9/11, they went through dozens of stories in a couple of seconds.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Covid.

Covid who?

The thing that killed half a billion people!

Farmer: Phew! I got all the eggs from the chickens!

Farmer #2: EGGcellent!

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"

Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.

Yo mama's so fat, a man has to bring climbing equipment to kiss her on the cheek.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

'Cause it got knocked down on its way.

Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?

Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, 110 stories in 10 seconds.

Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?

Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”

Soldier says, “Mhm.”

Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”

Soldier says, “Really?”

The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Cause he was on crack.

Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?

She ended up under the doc[tor].

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the “shell” station.

One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.

It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.