The jokes
If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
Hey Max, what's up? The sky.
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
Yo mama so fat that when she went in the ocean, Spain claimed her for new land.
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the interview?
Because his FUTURE was too BRIGHT!
What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?
The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!
Why did the rapper apologize to the sidewalk?
He didn’t mean to SPIT that hard.
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.