The jokes
What did the naked man say to the naked woman?
"Suck my dick."
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!
More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.
They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.
What do you call a group of emo friends?
THE SUICIDE SQUAD!
What’s long and black?
The line at the unemployment office.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?
What's the difference between a priest and a rapist?
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
What's the difference between Kanye West and an orphan?
Kanye West has parents.
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
#NoMoreOrphanJokes STOP IT NOW! I will dislike all the orphan jokes that appear.
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"