The jokes
This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! πππππππππ
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.
You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" π π π
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.
A man and a woman are watching clouds together. The man says, βHey, that one looks like a giraffe!β The woman agrees and says, βThat one looks like an elephant!β The man sits up and says, βThat one looks like a mushroom.β
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
Why did the failed abortion climb up the womanβs leg?
It was homesick.
How did the guy greet his wife?
"Howdy, sister!"
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.