The jokes
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
What did the one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?
Bye-son.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
Memes
The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
Did you know that most women are left-handed?
That’s because the majority of them don’t know what to do with rights.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
I went to catch the fog this morning, I mist.
What did the egg say to the tuna?
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.