The jokes
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
What do you call a group of emo friends?
THE SUICIDE SQUAD!
What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Memes
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
#NoMoreOrphanJokes STOP IT NOW! I will dislike all the orphan jokes that appear.
When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged!
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
What is the difference between a human and a burger?
Why can’t the turd fart? Because it already shitted!
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
Do I do the same for dinner tomorrow morning for you?