The jokes

Why did Jimmy throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who knife-raped his wife.

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.

Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?

I hear it hurt like hell.

Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).

Have you heard about the movie about constipation?

Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get ran over by a truck.

Why did the cow go to space?

To get ice cream!

Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.

So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"

Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the douchebag's house.

Knock knock.

(It's the octopus.)

There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

What's the difference between a priest and a zit?

A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.

Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"

Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.

The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."

She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

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Bye!