The jokes

If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.

Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"

Why did the octopus cry?

Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.

The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?

Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?

A Jedi Flight.

Why do you go to the bank?

To get money.

When do you run from the bank?

When the cops come.

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.

What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?

A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.

The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.

What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?

His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

What was the movie about the dog called?

The woof of Wall Street.

Tiresome is the quantification of tire.

What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?

Nothing.

Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!

What's the difference between a Black person and a White person?

One has a dad, while the other searches.