The jokes
A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.
"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.
She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
They never reached home.
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the "mic drop" was too high!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
What's the funniest joke ever?
Rapboat thinking he can rap.
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!
What was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on the 42nd floor?
The 43rd floor.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
What did the egg say to the tuna?