The jokes
What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
Memes
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
Your mama's so fat that she's bigger than the Titanic.
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it has many problems.
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?
The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.
Why did the orphan commit a crime?
Because they wanted to be wanted!
I pushed the disabled kid into a fire, then called him "Hot Wheels."
What the hell dam, hell dam?
What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."