The jokes
Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?
He was scared to get across.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
Memes
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
Jokes for the family to enjoy.
What was the thing that Beethoven used the most?
THE OVEN! (BeethOVEN)
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?
Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!
Yo mama is so fat, she turned all the mermaids to fishes!
Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love
Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.