The jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples actually get picked.

I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.

Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?

The turtle, because it can walk.

What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?

A horse can't hoop.

Hey guys, sorry to bother you but search "Izzy" on the search thingy on the website, thank you!

Yo mama is so fat, she turned all the mermaids to fishes!

Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?

Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!

Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.

What is the definition of polish sausage?

🐴🍖 Horse meat.

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

'Cause he got stuck in the crack! *butt crack*

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?

Because it got pissed off!