The jokes

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.

Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?

Because he is a family doctor.

What's the most annoying thing in the world?

When you're told you're still qualified to live.

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.

Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.

Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.

Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?

(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)

What do you call a pig that goes to the slaughterhouse? Technoblade.

Poop and balls through the walls!

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?

They were all family sized!

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.

Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.