The jokes
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?
My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.
I once put the Bible in the fiction section.
I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
A: Apples get picked.
Why do orphans hate the internet?
Because on the internet, people have families.
Who can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
Who is the king of the insects 🐜?
The Monarch!
The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
What is the main group of teens in West Side Story?
New York Jets.
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.