The jokes
TJ GWEN just shut the hell up.
NOT A DATING WEBSITE
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?
"Walrus the remote!"
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.
Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?
Student: It keeps pig skin together! 😂
Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?
He couldn't find the home button.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.
What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?
Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?
Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."