The jokes
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
Where did daddy cum in the bed?...
Everywhere!
What's a Fortnite player's favorite era? The 90s!
Don't you just love wrecking little girl's pussies? Like the tight feeling is just amazing. The great amount [of] ecstasy you feel when you cum and they get all squirmy. It's just the best.
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
What did the snake say to the mouse? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.
Toilet paper cried across the road.
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
What's the best thing about twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty-one of them.
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be expect bagels.
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.
The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.