The jokes

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.

Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.

What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?

Nothing, it was just plane.

Your hairline is like the economy, it's going down.

What's the difference between a bird and an emo?

Birds fly.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

Why did the short person become a chef?

Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!

Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"

When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.

Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.

Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?

She had a meltdown.

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?

The Enderman.

What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?

Ass Burgers.