The jokes
People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.
Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.
Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
You're so ugly, even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than you!
Why were the Twin Towers destroyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni and they got plane.
What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
I never get off on the wrong foot.
Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.
"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?