The jokes

Rapper

Why did the rapper go to the dentist?

He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.

Rapper

Why did the rapper open a bakery?

Because he wanted to make dough from his beats.

Rapper

Why did the rapper always carry a camera?

Because he wanted to "capture" the rap star!

Rapper

Why was the rapper bad at baseball?

Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.

Child

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Pilot

Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.

Garuda Indonesia 421:

Sully's co-pilot:

Advice

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.

Dish

Q: What's the most popular dish in Africa?

A: The empty one!

Daveon

Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.

Line

Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.

Curve

They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.

Tree

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch.

Parachute

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

Parachute

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

Plane

What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!

Sorry, cringy joke.

Land Mine

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

Cricket

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Orphan

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 episodes.