The jokes

Dino nuggets are kinda hot. Also, I want to fuck the brown M&M.

What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?

Answer: The future.

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

Please follow me at Mary.cristal03 on TikTok.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...

Why did the stick fall?

Because he is a stick man.

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.

What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?

"Bi-son."

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.

Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.

What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?

You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.

Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.

Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.

Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭