The jokes

Difference

What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Orphanage

Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!

Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?

Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!

Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!

Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???

Me: Yea

Cunnilingus

What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?

One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.

Category

I didn’t realize I had to put jokes into categories, my bad.

Unleash the jokers...👍

Quote

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

Girl

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

Blood

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

Teacher

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.

Hedgehog

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.

Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.

Demon

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

School Shooter

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

Difference

What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?

One is a snack cracker.

The other, a crack snacker.

Whale

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

Ugliness

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Hide-and-seek

Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.

Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.

Difference

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!