The jokes

Orphan

Why can't orphans use iPhones?

Because they can't press the home button.

Ballerina

Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?

She was standing way too close to the dancers.

Mushroom

What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.

Football

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

Baby

Why did the baby cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken.

Party

How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.

Orphan

Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.

Sister

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.

Forehead

Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.

I know it's bad, sorry.

Light

You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.

Belt

Why was the belt placed under arrest?

For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣

Casket

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

Beer

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

Milk

I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.