The jokes
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
"You crack me up!" 😂
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Memes
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
Q: What is the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
A: One is a good year, one is a great year.
Why was Mr. Bean on the River Thames?
He was rowing at Kingston.
Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."
"Watersharky, don't leave the site."
Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.
I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.
I'm going to leave now, so bye.
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
What do you call my brother in the water?
"Tsunami."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."
Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!