The jokes
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
For people who love Gwen and think she is the best person on this website, comment if so.
How do you make a child’s parents happy?
Put the child to sleep.
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
The (DYM 103).
How do you find Will Smith?
You look for the Fresh Prince.
"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....
What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?
Anglosaxon.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why the "hell" is this here?