The jokes
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
Average bee is 50x smarter than the smartest flat earther.
Your forehead is so big that I could draw the map of the world on it.
What is Osama bin Laden singing right now?
*cue the little mermaid* "Undaaa the sea, undaaa the sea"
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Memes
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
I got an iPhone 14 for my brother? That was the best trade I ever made.
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
Her name was Lola.
She was a loner.
At the Copa.
Then I saw her,
And I got a boner.
The next morning,
She couldn't remember if I banged her.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
Does anyone know the song that goes like:
Nananana na na na, nananana na na na, nananana na, na na, na, na na na?
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.