The jokes
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
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The emo tried to high five the tree, and it left him hanging.
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
Memes
Trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
You heard of the Pixar movie "Up," but have you heard of "Down, Down," the 9/11 terrorist attack?
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.
We forge the chains we wear in life.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Who was in Paris?
I dunno, the title was censored.
Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.
Why can't Mexicans cross the border? They always sneak powder in.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
What's the difference between bounties and orphans?
The bounty is wanted.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.