The jokes
Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^
Why can't men play baseball?
Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.
Watching the 9/11 documentaries is just watching a kill cam.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
Memes
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
"Joe Mama so fat she plays pool table the Earth."
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
I got in an argument with the 90-degree angle. And guess what? It was right!