The jokes
Why was the orphan so successful? Because when they were told “go big or go home,” they only had one option.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
Memes
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was tiers.
It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.
Jenga comes to mind, though!
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"
Why did the duck cross the road to get some quack?
What did the acute triangle say to the obtuse triangle?
Nothing, triangles can't talk.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Q: Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
I found two of the same Lego Duplo sets, so I called ‘em “Duplocates.”
Anyone remember the following?
What's the worst time to fly a plane?