The jokes
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
The West is dying.
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
Why can't orphans have a home button on their phone?
Because they don't have homes.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
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What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
What show do orphans hate the most?
Fullerb
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
Your hairline looks like the Antarctica waves.