The jokes

Masturbation

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

Mama

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

Orphan

What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

The baseball player has a home to run back to.

Yo Momma

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

Twin Towers

Q: Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?

A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

Smell

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

Baseball

Why can't men play baseball?

Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.

Peanut

Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?

Work came to a grinding halt.

Peanut

What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?

I'mma cashew outside!

Dracula

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

Tortoise

The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."