The jokes

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Wow! The jokes on here are so dark they pick my cotton!

How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?

They take a "power puff."

I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.

Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.

Why is the gay kid gay?

Because he likes men.

What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?

Pop in the toilet.

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.

What came before the dinosaurs?

Your hairline, because it's so far back!

Had to go to the barbers just to get your hairline sorted.

I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!