The jokes
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Jared from Subway touches the youth.
Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!
My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.
I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.