The jokes

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

Prankster pranks.

Fake lobster in the toilet. 8:00 a.m.

Prank phone calls. 9:00 a.m.

I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.

Where are the multi's? Where are they at? The placations?

Hey, join me. I be near the tree. Bring things to.

Who is the coolest vegetable?

Rad-ish, of course!

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Why did the orphan go outside the school?

Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.

Why can't orphans close their video games?

Because they can't find the home button.

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.

From the makers of Mangeone...