The jokes
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
Memes
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
Look at the bright side!
The worst is behind us.
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
Where did Sally go during the attack?
Everywhere.
Why did people bully the burning circuit?
It was too short.
Why don't gay men perform anilingus on each other in Greece?
Because anilingus is against the law in Greece.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩