The jokes
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? đź’©
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
I had the BEST day EVER.
1: I woke up.
2: I met someone I'm sad about.
3: I had fun and got them back again online.
But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD
Memes
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Where did Lucy go in the bombing... Everywhere.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.